Monday, January 17, 2011

Thanks for visiting!
 This is day one of my new blog, a tongue in cheek satire on bachelor life. 
If absurd humor is not your style, this isn't something you'll enjoy. I actually wonder if ANYONE  will enjoy it, but here goes!
Oh, and I welcome YOUR tips, comments and so forth. I *may* re-post these as featured items and give you full credit!
Entry  1 a) - Cooking advice.

Let' s begin with breakfast.
Breakfast is said to be the most important meal of the day.
I'm certain this is propaganda, from the breakfast food  Congressional lobbyists:
Aunt Jemima, Mrs. Butterworth, Tony the Tiger, and Captain Crunch to name a few.
Now if you DO like breakfast, fine. Make it at home.
I think an Egg McMuffin  & a coffee run about $6.50  at McDonald's (including tip) nowadays, so let's break that habit!
An Egg McMuffin consists of :
1 Toasted English Muffin
1 slice fake American Cheese (word in the street is it is imported from Guatemala)
1. Egg
! Slice of Canadian Bacon (ditto as above)
Right so cost-wise this is about 42 cents in ingredients.
Now, if I could only figure out the REST of this secret recipe!
I AM seeking any  "insider"  info on this topic.
1 b) Home brewed coffee!

This is a very simple process for bachelors to accomplish!
In a typical sized coffee maker,  FOUR  heaping tablespoons of *GROUND coffee make A nice, strong pot of coffee.
OK, so for you real novice bachelors, a "tablespoon" is the Medium sized one you should find in your silverware drawer. bottom of a sink full of dishes, or the cereal bowl sitting on the floor near your sofa, computer desk or bed. Not to be confused with "teaspoon" which is smaller, yet often located in or near the same places. I advise against using the extra large spoons used to stir pots of food (or gallons of paint, if you're in a hurry), ladles,  or slotted spoons, the last being quite time consuming - trust me!

Right... so I'm not covering all the steps of brewing coffee at home - they can be found on the coffee maker instruction packet and or cans of *GROUND coffee.
Explanation : *GROUND coffee is roasted, then smashed up into sand-sized particles and is NOT to be confused with whole bean coffee, or dirt, which CAN be a bit confusing due to the use of the word *GROUND.
Here, though, are some essential tips:
When preparing coffee, it's always best to have HAD some coffee FIRST. I reheat the previous day's leftovers to jog my mind into gear to make the new batch.

1. Make sure you DO fill the water container that heats the water. Setting the full pot of water on the coffee maker does NOT brew a strong pot of coffee.
2. Make sure you put a coffee filter in before adding the ground coffee. Failure to do so will result in a bitter,  gritty mess, and you will need to brush your teeth again after consuming this.
3. Make sure you place the filter basket  into the slot above where the coffee pot sits. Failure to do so will result in hot water. Plain hot water.
4. Most importantly, set the coffee POT  (without water in it!)back on the burner element.
Failure to do so will result in a very wet counter, ruined food or other goods in the kitchen drawers below, plus some scalded, enraged, caffeine-addicted ANTS!!!
Bye for now!